finally i can on9 now...
damn long dint upload my blog...
becos....
my Fucker 2nd BRO....
wat the hell from him....
lock my PC...
dont let me on9....
CB CB cB....

sunday tat day dating wit my dear...
but we got something at tat day...
i never forget wat he do for me...
1 part is damn bad....
1 part is my dear make me to hug him n cry....

i just wan tell me dear....
i really love u so much....
forever...

21th is our 9 months anniversary....
so fast o...
tis months is last month in 2009 edi....
welcome 2010.....

31th go genting wit dear n his friend....
wuhoo....
hope nth will stop my trip o....
cos i wan go trip wit dear...
actually is a small trip...
but i also willl very happy...
waiting tat day...

i miss all my friends...
my darling...
my baby....
my sisters....
my grandmom...
but....
most important is my lao gong RYAN pig pig....
muackssss.....

until now still sick....
flu...
already got 4 days...
haiz...
today my dear promise come my hosue wan...
but he at last minute say he dint promise me....
suan la....
nvm....
dont force him...
i sick until lik tat he also dint say wan bring me go see doctor....
if u reli care me....
how far also u still will come take k me n bring me go see doctor...
but...
u dint...
haiz...
u always broken promise wit me...


who can help me....
i sick until lik hell now...
>.<~~!!!!
T.T

now...
im sad...
feel very very down....

im tired...
reli very tired edi...
pls...
i beg u ok ma..
dont treat me lik tat edi...

now i just noe...
be4 wat i told u...
u also will forget..
wat i wan u change...
u also forget...
u never put in ur heart...
i already told u so many times....
dont treat me lik tat....
if u still wan treat me lik tat...
then u leave me...

i noe...
now u dint love me so much...
dint love me lik be4...
u change edi...
lik another person....
not lik be4 i know the "RYAN"....

now the "RYAN" is how??
dint care his gf....
bit his gf...
ignore his gf....
his gf cry also dont wan care her...dont wan tam her...just let her cry...
she cry still wan say her...
told her continue cry....
he go watch movie 1st....
his gf wan watch movie wit him...
but he told his gf he will going out wit his family..
watch movie also cannot ma???
will waste ur time ma??
y u friends call u go watch movie u straight go....
huh...

i starting to thinking im not important for u edi...
when i go out wit u....
u never hold my hand...
walking lik friends only...
u at left...me at right....
sometimes u at infront....me at behind....
u think la...
got couple lik tat ma??
huh...
u dont wan let ppl noe im ur gf u can told me....
then we dont go out...
but can u dont lik tat ma...
i dont like ar...
u dont wan hold my hand u can told me...
when we walking lik tat...
i feel very sad...
feel very down...
u somemore at there see leng lui....
u still keep see the girls...
until cant leave ur eyes....

yesterday we go gym...
i told u wat the girls do at the room....
u noe wat u told me ma...
u say "can i change place wit u ma"....
u noe u say lik tat is very guo fen ma...
u think u can say lik tat ma....

u at facebook u wont upload us pic...
u wont give some comments in us pic...
at MSN or facebook...or in ur phone also....
u wont use us the pic put at wallpaper....
ur friends the pic u will give they comments....
say they pretty n press u like they pic...
exspecially the girls name call "Shirlynn Ng"....
i noe u sometimes will see her pic in facebook....
sometimes will sms wit her...

yesterday night i told u satuday go see concert...
u told me call another go wit u..
u noe wat u say ma...
huh...
y u can say lik tat wan...
i reli damn PO wit u already....

i noe....
u not tat type of very care gf the guys...
u dont no how to treat ur gf...
dont no how to give her surprise....
dont no how to care gf....
dont no wat u can say n wat u cant say...
u change de....
very big different edi...
not lik be4 i know the "RYAN"...

now the "RYAN" give me the feel is...
sometimes will make me happy....
sometimes will make me sad n cry...
sometimes will treat me good...
sometimes will treat me bad...
sometimes will care me...
sometimes dint care me...

somtimes i go out u also wont worry me...
dint call me be kfull....
lik dint care me wan...
now....
we sms u also dint write "I LOVE U" or "I MISS YOU" for me....
"MUACKXXXX" also dint write for me..
at night when u sleep also dint say " GOOD NIGHT" wit me....
u straight sleep n close me phone....
sometimes u sleep edi i call u wake up....
u scold me....
say me "fan"...say me "noisy"....
y u wan say i lik tat ....
i just wan say "gOOD NIGHT" wit u only....
also cannot ma..
huh..
y u wan scold me lik tat...

RYAN NG CHEN WEI....
i dont no wan how to treat u edi..
i treat u good also useless edi...
u wont treasure me edi...
wont love me so much edi...
wont wan i be ur a part in ur life edi...
n u wont wan i be ur lao po...
be ur gf edi...

u treat me just lik friends....
how much i give u....
u wont noe...
u wont understand wat i wan...
u never noe wat i wan u do....
u never noe how i wan u treat me...
u just noe im small gas ...
im bad....
everyday just will augue wit u...
angry u....
in ur heart....
im not the 1st...
im the last...
im not important for u...

u dont care i got wearing the ring a not..
cos u dint see i got wearing a not..
i dint wearing u also never ask me y dint wearing it...
just lik nth happen...
i got wearing a not also not important for u....
cos u dont wan i be ur wife...
never thinking wan married me...

u wan give ppl bring me go away from u ma???
u told me....
wat u wan i do u just will treat me good...
sayang me n care me until lik hell..
wat u wan i do just will treasure me..

I LOVE U SO MUCH tis word u never told me....
but...
i think u wont told me wan...

wat i wan do now???
i dont no...
i just noe im sad....
i just noe my heart very pain....
i just wan cry until i tired...
until i no more feeling....
maybe i will lost...

i lost edi u also wont worry me wan...
i noe de...
i reli noe de....

wat can i do now...
i just noe i damn moody...
today....
when reach home argue wit him again...
then just now get scold from my dad...
becos the "Queen"....
not my fault ok....
pls dont simply angry wit me....
not i make u angry....
y must wan scold me...

argue wit dear i already damn moody edi...
still wan get scold from my dad....

somemore feel not well....

i just feel i wan DIE....
i just feel i dont wan live edi...

relationship...
family...
future....

all is my problem...
when i just can settle it....

relationship...
i just wan happy wit him only...
just dont wan argue wit him only...
also cannot ma....
y u must make me wan angry u...
y must everytime wat i say then u "ding" me....
im tired de....
can u understand me ma???
can u dont treat me lik tat ma...
im ur lao po ar...
if u dint think im ur lao po nvm...
im ur gf ar...
not ur friend ar....

family....
always is my grandmom make problem....
when she make my dad angry...
my dad sure must scold me wan...
y...
everytime just me get scold...
if u wan scold me y still wan wit mom born me...
im ur children ar...
not ur DOG ar....

future....
until now still havent got working...
wan study but my dad say no $$....
wat can i do...
just faster go find work then save $$ to learn make-up....
i dont wan stay at home anymore...

pls...
can anyone help me???

he start to everyday play game again....
haiz....
dont have time accompany me...
sometimes dont no he sms wit who....
maybe is GIRLS???
i dont no...
just silent it...
dont wan keep ask him...
ltr he say me don trust him...
haiz...

argue????
yup...
just now we argue again...
he keng gai wit me in phone...
suddently say wan go play game...
when i hear it...
i damn moody edi...
chatting wit me really boring meh...
huh...
haix....
i really hate myself...
i dont no y....
i just noe me in his heart is a useless ppl....

i angry him close his phone....
then he dint call me bak again...
y...
y he will lik tat wan..
he really never think wan tam me bak ma????
never wan me forgive him ma???
im reali nt important for him ma???
my heart damn pain....
i can told who??
i just can keep in my heart....
no ppl noe wat i thinking...

ya...
i got think wan leave him...
cos i noe he not wan lik me tis type of gf...
i dont wan force him to love me.
i dont wan force him together wit me..
i wont sy break up wit him wan...
cos i will "bu she de " him..
my heart will damn pain...
will neve forget him....
i jus noe i reali cant leave him...
cos i love him so much...
he will noe ma???

if he loose me...
izit he will get a happy& freedom life ??
izit he will forget me??

if he loose me...
he will treasure me ma???
he will treat me better more than be4 ma??

i just wan noe....
he will married me ma???
he will wan me together forever wit him ma???

i got a lot question dint ask him....
be cos...
i noe he say the answer is i dont wan to hear it ...
i sure noe is a bad answer...
so i just keep in heart....

dear....
i just wan u noe...
im not very bad wan....
pls dont think i lik tat can ma???
pls dont say bad word wit me can ma??
pls dont treat me so rude can ma??
pls dont say "SPK" or say me "siao" can ma???
im ur gf ma??
izit all bf also say lik tat wit his gf??
u got see ur friend treat his gf lik tat ma??

im tired de...
im reali cant tahan de...
how also i will wait ....
i will wait u change it...
no matter how long...
i still will tahan....
i jus dont wan our relationship STOP IT....
i wan continue wit u...
jus wan happy be wit u only...

tis few days no tat happy mood...
damn moody...
haiz..
argue wit dear again...
pls la..
im tired de...
if still lik tat i think i will DIE....

until now still havent got work to do...
find some shop interview edi...
still waiting they call me....
but...
i think no chance de....
must wan go leisure mall find jor...
haiz....
i wan faster working...
dont wan stay at home...
at home damn boring la..
erm...
2moro go salon dye my hair 1st...
wuhoo....
but...
i dont have the happy mood...
T.T

today is our 250days o...
hehe...
so fast o...
i love my dear o...

last saturday go SW n TS with my dear...
buy my prom night dress n high shoes...
opppsss....
expansive leh...
i told my dear dont wan buy la...
then hor....
he give me see his BLECK FACE....
hmmmmm....
he angry jor...
lol...
he keep drag me to buy...
finally he buy jor...
n the high shose also...
anyway...
thx a lot ya my dear...
love u so much...
i noe u sayang me...
wat i wan u also buy...
thx dear...
muackxxxx....

now i wan buy new HP...
erm...
still thinking now wan buy which 1...
NOKIA 5800 & SE W705I...
if my dear choose he wan 5800...
i think i will buy same with him o...
save money now lo...

today interview my job....
PETS SHOP....
lol...
the manager ask a lot question...
just me wan working only ma...
not my family wan la...
y wan ask about my family leh...
hmmmm....
weird....
now waiting call lo....

erm...
my SPM exam how???
lol....
damn bad...
but....
i already try my best do it...
hope can pass....
my BM & BI....
pls....
i wan PASS....

who can acc me watch movie....
[2012 n phobia]...
haiz...
my dear promise me watch wit me de...
but now...
he watch wit dickson edi...
haiz...
always broken promise wit me...
when wan watch the movie wit him...
he must watch wit his friend wan...
then me how..
haiz...


damn boring at home...
my dear now at SW...
dont no he go wit who...
dint sms me...
until now 1 message also dont have...
maybe he forget me edi...
haiz...
everytime make me lonely...
make me alone...
i damn hate...
he got care about me ma...
got care about my feeling ma...
huh...

y always make me alone wor...
u go out wit friends also cant sms wit me...
y u can ignore me de...
haiz...
i really dont no wan how now...
feel sad ar...

recently few update blog...
some is busy...
some is lazy...
some is need SPM edi....
opppssss....
my dead date coming la...
haiz...
hope my SPM will get a good result...
i will gambateh....
study study ....

erm...
about my dear...
hmmmm....
him ar...
tat day bluff me lo..
say go friends party..
but leh..
he is go CLUBBING la...
haiz...
make me damn angry....
y wan bluff me...
naughty...
haiz...
but i already forgive him...
hope he wont bluff me again lo...
recently very good wit him...
no more argue edi..
hope will keep it lo...
i love my dear o...
love him so much...
muackssss....

actually we already settle wat happen from us...
dear...
sorry...
tis word is i just can told u...
but dear....
i already understand wat u thinking....
n wat u wan....
so i will be the best...
will be ur good lao po...
love u forever...
muackxxx...

2moro graduation lu...
yeah...
enjoy ya....
^^

yesterday go the gardens red box sing k wit rainie..
damn crazy ...
kaka....
sing until no more voice edi...
enjoy it...
cos tis few day damn moody...
go sing k can make me happy a bit...

to9 go felicia house eat steamboat wit all sister n my dear....
actually got celabrate RAinie birthday too....
happy birthday to her..
wuhoo...

miss my dear...

tis few day damn moody..
dont no y...
becos wat?
erm.
i think is my future...
relationship...
family...
money...
haiz...

dont no wan how...
wat can i do now...
dont no.....

tis few days dint argue wit dear...
is good..
hehe...

dear...
i noe u understand wat i think rite...
darling love u so much de...

just now dear give he dad scold...
becos...
he everyday also go out...
lol....
so he damn moody...
just noe talk wit him suddently scold me...
but nvm....
i noe he moody ...
so i tahan him lo...
dont wan argue wit him...
just silent...

2moro my dear got test o...
gambateh dear...
darling support u....
add oil ya...
hope he can pass...
wuhoo....
now he sleeping....
later 2am call he wake up study...

erm....
new movie...
the twilight -new moon...
i wan see....
must....
i like the movie...
damn nice la....
edward....
leng zai n cool la...
i like him...
wuhoo....
faster coming out the movie la...
i wan watch....

SPM....
shit lo...
SPM is coming soon lo...
still got 1 month lik tat....
will less on9....
study study study....
add oil to me also..

my dear ryan...


sorry for u....
i dont no wan say how many sorry to u...

thx for u still loving me...
thx for u still will say I LOVE U wit me...
thx for u still be myside...
dear...
darling very useless...
i cant be tat 1 of ur dream girl....
i cant be tat 1 u wan i to be....
but dear..
i already be the best...
i already use my full of love to love u ....
really..
i really cannot love another boy again...
i dont no y...
maybe is i scare give ppl hurt me again gua...

i promise u...
i will be the best lao po...
cos..
i wan take k of u...
always by urside...
just wan u be my part in my life...
just wan hold ur hand to walk our future road...
dear...
darling love u so much...


tis song very nice...
dear...
just for u...

我不是一定要你回来，因为我绝对不会让你回来！！！

dear...
pls....
dont say again about hurt me the word can ma????...
i dont wan hear it again...
y u wan another ppl take k me wor...
i dont wan ar...
i just wan u ar...
u understand ma...
i say again ar...
i dont wan another boys adi ar...
u noe a not..!!!

i dont no y tis few days u say some word lik wan leave me...
but dear...
i dont hope u will leave me...
pls...
dont...
ok ma...
actually tis few days i also got think about u izit got another gf at outside....
i noe maybe is i thinking too much....
i trust u...
i noe u wont treat me lik tat wan...
i trust u...
really...

i cry again ....
i feel very very sad...
moody...
sick...
feeling wan DIE....
feeling wan hurt myself...
feeling wan kill myself....

i just wan u can treat me good...
care me more...
dont always talk wit me then no manes wit me..
sayang me more....
talk wit me soft a bit....
can ma..

today stay at home damn boring..
edit pic...
hear song..
no ppl at house..
mom n dad go out...
2 bro also..
just me alone at home...
i hope my dear can come find me de...
but he say cant...
cos his car got something happen...

haiz...
damn moody now..
dont no y...
feel lonely...
always alone wan...
haiz...
i need my dear now...
i wan he at beside me now...
but cant...

just now he sleep...
cos he feel not well...
until just now he on9...
he wake up de...
but...
he dint tell me...
dint sms me...
dint call me...
y de...
he wake up not 1st time time me de ma...
y...
y he dint find me de...

2moro we go dating de...
but tat day he said he go his friends house for deepavali...
then i hear it i moody de...
so i told him cancel it...
haiz...
u noe ma...
i so long time dint go dating wit u...
dint go gai gai wit u de...

haiz...
2moro must alone again...
hate it...
i very need u..
but u noe ma???

u start to bluff me edi...
just now i call u...
iask u where r u...
u said at home..
just wake up only...
not..
u not just wake up...
u early already wake up de....
y u wan bluff me...
u wake up at 6.30pm...
i call u the time is 8.00pm...
u say u just wake up...
u bluff me...
y u wan lik tat...
y u must bluff me...
u noe i hate it ma...
y u do anything also dint tell me wan...
go out dint tell me....
wake up dint tell...
y u can zhu dong told me wat u doing ,where u go...
y must wan me everytime ask u just tell me...
sometimes i ask u also dont wan reply me...dont wan tell me...
im ur lao po ma...im ur darling ma..im ur gf ma...
huh....

i wan get drunk...
just now drink tat time dear give me the alcohol...
i wan drink all...
i wan make me drunk...
i damn moddy now...
damn angry now...
u noe ma....
huh....

thursday

tat day go sing k wit rainie n yernny...
at the gardens red box....
my dear also got come...
but just awhile only...
so happy he can come o...
hehe...
we sing at 11am-3pm....
1st time sing k wit my friend...
wit my dear also...
me n my dear sing "安静，简单爱，说好的幸福呢 n another song...
damn funny n damn crazy wit them...
then take some pic lu...
upload soon o....

or go my facebook n see la...

our izit got something already change it?...

now morning u dint call me wake up de....
u dint sms me say "i love u or i miss u , n muackxx "....
n now u sleep de also dont have say good night n give me a good night kiss for me...
after tat few days we argue..
u never do tat de....
y de...
wat happen of u wor...

i force myself dont thinking too much...
but i cant...

sorry dear...
i really scare got something of us....

haiz.............
just hope we nth happen...
lik be sweet sweet together only...
dont let something change our relationship....
can ma...

tis few days also argue wit dear...
haiz...
damn moody...

just now he told me...
will go port dickson...
ask me wan go ma...
i said i got SPM...
then he dint ask me when can go...
he straight say nvm lo..
i go wit them lo...
i hear it...
i unhappy...
dont no y....

then...
he say sunday go his friend house for deepavali...
i said sunday we go out...
he said i dint comfirm wan go then he go his friends house....
actually i damn angry de...
then i straight say cancel lo...
he said i lik tat again...

i noe ...
i damn moody now...
damn angry now...
he talk me wit me his voice lik so angry..
feel lik scold me...
haiz...
i really dont no wat happen of us...

he say he will change his atitude...
but i dont no he can a not...
i just feel same only...
dint change anything....

n...
i dont like he scold me "shut up"....
i hate he say lik tat...
damn hate...
never got ppl say me lik tat de...
y wor...
im his gf ma?....
y he can talk wit me lik tat...
i dont think u say lik tat is play wit me lo...
u noe i hate it ma...
u noe u say i lik tat i will moody ma?....
huh....
i will unhappy ma...
i will sad ma?...

付出，你知道吗？

付出了的东西会得到回报吗？
为什么我付出了的东西总是没有人懂？
你告诉我，你懂吗？
你知道我为了你做了多少的事吗？
你知道我为了你可以放弃一切吗？
你知道我做什么事都是想了你先吗？
你知道我做什么事都是为了你吗？

这些事你都知道吗？
你根本不懂我付出了多少？
我做什么事也好，我都是第一时间想了你先！
为什么你却不知道！
你告诉我啊！！！！
我该怎样做你才可以好好的珍惜我！！
才能好好的爱我！！
才能得到你对我100%的爱！！


你昨天告诉我。
你对我的爱只有80%...
那我问你，那20%去了哪里？
你说：“有时我会想到不要这段感情了，可是我不能，我一天没有你，我的心很不舒服，我真的不懂要怎样过我的生活，我真的不能放下你，我很爱你，baby，我真的很爱很爱你，你知道吗？我真的不能放弃你，老婆，我只要你，答应我不要离开我可以吗？”



当我听到你对我说的这句话，我哭了。
因为你从来没有酱对我说过这些话。
我懂，是很感动的。
可是我觉得这是一场梦，一场让你感动只有几分钟的梦。


我承认，我听到你说这些话，我很开心，感动到哭了出来，我最希望听到你说这句话。
可是...
我只是想要你给我一个承诺，给我一个爱我一辈子的承诺～
我们在一起半年了，你从来没有亲口对我说过：“老婆，我爱你一辈子，一辈子都爱你一个”。
我只是听过：“宝贝，你是属于我的，你是我可爱的宝贝，没有人可以取代你的”。
对，我是喜欢你对我说的这句话。
可是我最想听到的你却没说。

刚才和你讲电话～
我问你：“我是不是你理想的女朋友”。
你答我说：“我要的女朋友是不会小气，不会远，不会以点点事就生气”。
我懂啊，我知道我住很远，你在KLANG，我在CHERAS，这点我承认～
可是你说我小气，我有吗？我怎样小气？
你说：“我每次为了一点点事就生气”
我没有，是你每次打给我时候和我谈天，无端端去打机，在那边打机都不和我说话，好像当我不存在酱，我和你说话你又没出声，过了一下子，你就会说“har，什么”～我没有出声，你就说我不和你说话，说我在浪费时间，我不出声顶回你是因为我不想和你吵架，我每次和你吵架，我真的很累了，我哭到累了，吵到累了，你怎样说我也好，我只可以忍，我只可以忍受你说我，把那口气吞下，为什么你每次要做一件事的时候，不要想想我的感受先，为什么总是说我错，真的是我做错吗？你想想，你每天说你累，你睡午觉，我有说你什么吗？我有不给你睡吗？你要打机，我有不给你打吗？你要看电视，我有不给你看吗？你要和你朋友出去，我有不给你出吗？你出到很夜，我有骂过你吗？我和你说：“我在等你回来，才可以睡”，你却答我：“哦，是咩，我不懂哦”，你知道你这句话有多伤人吗？你喝了酒又驾车，你知道我在担心你吗？你知道有几危险吗？你一喝酒了，你就会乱说话来伤害我，就连你说什么你也不懂，我哭了，你懂吗？你好像没当有这一回事，到了第二天你只会和我说对不起，对不起有用吗？“对不起”这个字我听了很多次了，我不是要听对不起啊，我只是要你不要酱对我啊，要你好好的疼我，爱我，关心我，照顾我，好好的珍惜我而已，我并不要什么富贵荣华，什么高楼房子，什么名车，什么名牌包包，我只是要你一颗爱我的心，要你是真心的爱我啊～～！！

我从来没有介意你住很远，只要你爱我，我爱你不就够了吗？
“远”你真的那么介意吗？真的那么重要吗？

你说有时你想要我的时候，我却没在你身边。
难道我也不是吗？

你要知道，就算我们不能每天见面，不能每天都在你旁边陪你吃饭，看戏，做assignment 或者做任何事都好，我还是会永远在你心里陪着你做任何一件事，陪你过每一天～

我是不是一个对你不够好的女朋友？还是我不够关心你，不够爱你？

我不是一个完美的人～
我没样子，没身材，没智慧，没有钱～
可是我有一个爱你的心，只是爱你的一颗心～
对，我的心之前是给“他”割了一刀～
虽然现在还有伤痕～
可是这都是你把我的心给医好，把它的伤口慢慢的复原。
是你在我还在伤心的时候让我开心，让我笑，把我的心慢慢的复原。
让我可以从新开始过我的新生活。
开始我的新恋情。
可是在那个时候，你让我喜欢上你了。
而且你那时也是在追求着我，所以我才给个机会大家试试这段新的感情，第一次见到你的时候，我知道你一定可以给我幸福，给我快乐，是一个可以好好照顾我的人。



可是，自从你上来COLLEGE之后，你有点变了，不像以前的你了，你从来没有和我说话时，跟我顶嘴的，不会说我傻婆，不会叫我去死的，不会对我大声的说话，不会对我发脾气的。
为什么你会变到酱的，我不明白～
可是我没有介意你酱～
我不会为了酱而和你分手～
因为我不舍得！！
就算你变到怎样，我还是很爱很爱你的～

你记得昨天我和你说过什么吗？
我说：“老公，如果你真的不想和我一起了，你可以和我说，我不会逼你，我不想你和我在一起你不开心，我不要你辛苦，对，我是不喜欢自己一个人，不喜欢孤单，我领愿我自己一个人我也不想我最爱的人痛苦，我不要你不开心，我要你开心的过每一天，如果有什么意外，就算我们真的分开了，我还是会爱着你，我的心还是只有你的，我说过，你是我的最后一个男朋友，别的男生我不要了，因为我不想再爱上别人之后，到最后得到的是痛苦，我真的累了，也觉得男生很可怕，再也不会相信男生了，也不想再给人割一刀在我的心了，我真的痛了～

我们之前答应过对方，发生什么事都好，我们也不会“分手”的，这是我们的约定，当你把戒子戴在我的手上，虽然他不是钻石戒子，可是我已经决定要把我的一生交给你了，让你给我幸福～


你知道我为了你改变了很多吗？
从以前不爱打扮的我，现在变了一个爱照镜子，出街一定要化妆，把自己变得很好看的人～
从以前穿着像小孩子，爱穿庞克装，爱穿黑色丝袜的我，现在变了一个穿着成熟，不再穿黑色丝袜，从此以后要穿一双会让我脚痛的高跟鞋，把自己变成一个成熟的女生～
从以前坐态粗鲁的我，现在变成一个斯文的女生～
从以前不会自拍的我，现在变成一个知道要怎样自拍，怎样才知道这张照片好看的我～
从以前没有人会追求我的，现在变成一个很多追求者的人。
就算有很多人追求我也好，我都不会接受，我只知道，我爱的人是你。
没有人可以把你给代替～
对，我以前是一个丑小鸭，是一个胖胖的女生，到现在我还是有点胖，可是我为了你，我去减肥，吃减肥药，就算吃了会有副作用，我还是会照吃，我喜欢吃的巧克力，零食，我都会控制不吃，有是连饭也不吃，只是喝水，我酱做，是因为我要你有一个很好看的女朋友，这样你就不会觉得很丢脸。为了你，我愿意付出一切～

或许你觉得“你想要的我却不能够给你我全部，我能给的却又不是你想要拥有的”～

我知道你为了我做什么都可以～
做什么事都是为了我～

你知道吗？
我只是想你关心我多点～
想你爱我多过我爱你～
会为了我吃醋～
会紧张我～
会很在乎我～
会做什么事都会为了着想先！

我最爱的dear dear～
我真的希望你能明白我所说的每一句话～
明白我所做的一切～
或许你觉得我酱做是不值得的～
可是对我来说，这全都是值得的～

黄正维～
你听清楚～
我要定你了～

how u treat me also...
u wan scold me...
u wan say some bad word to me...
i also nvm...
i dont care...
i just dont wan argue wit u...
im tired de...
i just wan stay at beside u only...
i dont wan leave u...

i noe we can change our atitude de...
dear...
add oil ok...
i noe we can do it de...

lao gong...
dont keep secret from me...
honest wit me can ma..
dont lie me...
anything must tell me can ma....

if loose u...
i will be single....
i still will waiting u...
no matter wat...
i wont change my heart...
i still will waiting u come back my side...
i will waiting u...
how long also i will wait...

lao gong...
pls dont leave me...
pls give me a chance to take care u...
give me a chance to love u forever...
give me a chance be ur wife...be ur lao po...
give me a chance to get full love from u...
give us a chance to hold each other hand to walk our future road...holding until tight tight to end our life...
pls give u a chance to give me happiness...
give u a chance to love me forever...
give u a chance to take care me....
give u a chance to be my husband...be my lao gong...
give u a chance to get my full love from me...

i noe we can forever de...
i believe it...
hope u also...

dear...
u tell me...
i wan how to do...
i wan how to be ur good gf....


i moody now...
u noe i feel not well ma...
just now i call u....
i noe...
u at there watch tv...
so i just say i dont disturb u...
u leh...
u how to say me..
u straight scold me...
u say...
"dont fan la"...
when i hear it...
i damn angry...
ok lo...
then i close the phone...
i thought u will call me back tam me de...
but u dint do tat....
y...
y i angry u also nth wan...
i really dont no y u will lik tat...
watch tv important tam me back ma?...

huh...
u tell me...

until now u also dint find me...
im sad...
u noe ma..

just now chat wit my dear...
we chat about 2012...
he say got some ppl say all ppl alsp will die at the year...
is really ma?...
i dont no also...
i just scare..
if die at the year...
i just 21 years old only...
so young...
lol...
i dont wan la...
i still wan walk my future road wit my dear la...

if die the year....
i wan how to do...
i will do i wish the things...
if i die i wan hug my dear together die...
cos i dont wan leave him....
he is my only 1...

dear...
u told me 26 years old the things...
i dont no we can do it a not...
but i hope can...
i hope can at 24 or 25 do it...
if u wan 26 then nvm la...
i still will wait u de...
really...
dont forget wat u promise me...

our promise cannot broken it wan...
ok ma..

i really hope u can care me more...
i dont wan u say i "sha po" again...
n dont say i "crazy again"...
i dont like u say i lik tat...
i really dont like de...
pls...

dear...
u noe be4 my ex is how to treat me de ma...
i dont wan happen it again...
i very hurt edi...
i dont wan give ppl hurt again...
can ma...

dear...
u noe i love u so much ma...

tis song very nice....
愛一直存在-梁文音

today change phone number wit my dear...
huhu...
i love my dear o...
miss him so muach..

tat day dear say something word hurt me...
i so sad n so hurt...
cry lik hell...
but now he apologized wit me....
so i forgive him de...

my SPM trail test....
haiz....
damn shit....
all fill...
my BI also fill edi...
sad la...
haiz...
maybe my dear will scold me gua...
sorry dear...

today after school go eat lunch wit rainie n her bf...
we go eat fish head noodles...
nice leh..
eat until full...

recently got some new song i very like it...
nice song....



tis song is 丁当-我爱他
the MV so nice...
i see it i also will cry...



tis is 郭静-明白...
also is a nice song

today boring at home leh...
my dear just wake up only....
he say he tired...
then let him sleep lo...
then i nth do o...
my dear make me alone at there...
naughty dear....
heng....
but nvm la...
he tired ma...
is ok...
i understand....

2moro start my school day again o...
lol...
damn happy tim...
cos stay at home boring la...
i wan go back school...
hope my eng n bm can pass o...

miss my dear leh...
now he eating dinner o...
waiting he find me lo....

ok la...
i wan go out la...
bb....

just come back at my school the Moon Cake Festival....
lol...
damn boring.....
so ime n my boy dont wan stay at there..
then ask rainie n her bf go yam cha together..

today i go mid wit my boy....
then go jusco...
i saw him....
i scare to look at him...
but my boy say he got looking at us....
i just wan he noe....
"i no more u i still got my Ryan dear, he treat me more good then u"....
"pls dont say i hurt u again..i dint do tat..OK..."...

dear...
sorry...
i not wan lik tat wan...
hope u understand me....
n i dint scare him again....
he just a normal ppl..
but u different....
u is my lao gong.....
my lovely lao gong....
i love u so much...
muackxxx....

erm....
tis week is me n my boy meet so many time...
sunday over9 at his house....
monday go genting...
tuesday go back...
thursday go his house again....
today go my school....
hehe....
so happy o..
but i noe dear got some no mood...
n he tired...
sorry dear...
make u lik tat....
pls forgive me o...
u remember just now u fetch me back i tell u wat ma...
hope u understand me o....

just now my dear go his friend birthday party....
then me at home waiting he come back...
i dont sms him...
cos he wit his friend...
actually i noe he wont reply me wan...
so i just wait him find me..

fianally he come back at 11.50pm....
he call me...
when i hear his voice i noe he drunk edi...
i noe he will do something wan...

ya...
is true...
he start to scold me edi...
i told him i waiting him come back home...
then he said..."ya meh, i dont no oo"....
when i hear it...
i cry...
my heart pain...
he keep asking me wat happen to me..
i just keep say i nth...
he say i lik tat again...
i dint....
i just dont wan argue wit him...
i noe he drunk edi..
he wan how to treat me also nvm....
i just tahan..
when he drink alcohol....
drunk edi he will treat me lik hell...
will say something to hurt me...
but i wont scold him back...
cos i noe he drunk...
i just keep silent let him lik tat...

dear...
i noe u celebrate ur friend birthday will very happy...
i also hope i can get lik tat de birthday....
but dear...
i wont wan u give me lik tat...
u how to celebrate wit me i also will happy...
my birthday is already pass...
so now i say i wan how de birthday also useless....

dear...
maybe ur friend can give u happy...
i cannot...
but i already try my best...
when i birthday u also wont write "happy birthday to my darling"...
ur friend birthday u will write it wan...
me n u got anything u also wont write at msn there wan....
be4 when together wit u not lik tat de....
i still remember u write wat at msn persenal message....
u write.."I LOVE MY YOYO DARLING"....
but now i never see tis word edi....
y de....
y i different wit ur friend...
they birthday u will remember it ma?...
or my birthday not very important wan....
just now u say my birthday u not happy...
y u will say lik tat...
just now u tell me u wan sleep...
but i see u on9...
y wan bluff me wor...
yyyyy.......


dear...
u drunk edi nvm...
i still will take care of u...
u still is my lao gong...
how also i wont argue wit u...
ok...

I LOVE U FOREVER tis word u never tell me be4...
but i will waiting u to tell me tis word...
i just wan u give me a promise to love me forever....
i wont force u to tell me tis word...
i wont force u to love me forever....
n i wont at in front of u ask u u dint think about the things...
n i wont ask again...
cos i noe u never think it n dont like i ask u..

dear...
sorry..
im not the prefect gf...
i noe i so far from u...
but my heart wont change it...
my heart just for u...
just only u can get it....
dear....
u noe ma...
i love u so much..
FOREVER tis word i already wan give u....
now is wan see u how to tell me only....
i wait u..
how long also i will wait....

im izit not a good gf..?
i treat him not good meh...?
i wan how just can be a good gf..?
i wan how just can be a important ppl in his heart....

dear...
u noe ma?
i already try to be the best edi...
i wan be ur good lao po...
i already try to treat u more good...

pls...
dont say i crazy again..
if i crazy y u still wan me wor...
i dont like u say i lik tat ar...
u noe ma?
sometimes i feel when i oing something i also wrong wan...
i cry u also dont no..
i scare u will say i small gas...
say i just a little things then cry edi...
u noe y i wan cry ma?...
i cry is about who ?
all is u ar....
i do wat also is about u ar...
when i wit my ex i wont lik tat wan...

dear...
i just together wit u half years only...
i love u more then my ex...
he together wit me 5 years only ar...
i dint love him until lik tat ar...
i just noe u in my life is very important for me...
i really cannot loose u...
if no u no more life for me edi ar...
u remember be4 i told u wat ma?
i dont wan give ppl hurt me again...
be4 i give my ex hurt me...
is u make me happy back wan...

dear...
i hope u can understand me..
im not small gas ar...
im not crazy ar...
i just wan treat u good only...

dear...
i really really love u...
i love u so much...
i love my baby hippo...
i love RYAN NG CHEN WEI only...
just only him...
i just wan him only....

1 pair panda...

Dickson bath...

our take the pic...

dear n dickson....damn dark...can see it?

first world hotel....but the S gone edi....so is firt world hotel...haha

dear n dickson play bowling....

wat happen for dickson..?

dear n dickson....

dear buying fruit....

im so short....

when going genting...inside caber car...

the pic izit nice?

at my dear house.....when going genting...

hold ur hand until end our life....

genting hotel...

first world hotel...

Baskin ice-cream

too dark...cant see mt face..

outside hotel room....

i cook for dear de fried rice

dear n dickson play bowling....