alone day~

yesterday i accident..
i give a car bang me...my head get hurt...
nobody noe...
becos i alone go night market....
when i was going bak...suddenly the car turn in..
maybe he dint see me than bang me...i fall down..
tat time i was think...
"dear, where r u, can u help me ? "..
but...until the end i dint call him...

the person say send me to hospital...
i say no need...

just a small matter...

my head get hurt only...

he apologize wit me...

actually cannot blame him at all...

maybe the time i walking..

i thinking things...
so i dint attention got car is turn in...

i just noe my head is fucking pain now..

i going home...

i dun dare to tell anyone...

i go bak my room...

im crying...

becos i wan to let him noe...

but...

he dint sms me or call me...

tat time he was wit friend...

he dint care me at all..

so i just keep crying...

i scare my brain got blood...

so i dun dare to sleep...

until he reach home...

i cry infront of him...

but he lik nth...

he dint ask me y im cry, dint ask wat happen on me...

tat time i was damn hurt...

i damn sad...

wat he also dun wanna to caring me...
he just tell me...

he wanna sleep...

i keep calling him...
but he off his phone edi..

izit he can do tis fucking things for me?

huh.......

wat kind of tis bf...?

suan la...

he dun wanna to noe...

i also dun wan to call him...

i just sms him....let him noe...

until mid night i only can sleep..

i scare i sleep edi i cant wake up anymore...

but today im wake up de...

i have a nightmare...

i dreaming about tat im reali dead...

i leave him go another world edi...

izit tis dream will be true?

i dunno.....
i dint tell him...

he asking me got go see doctor ma...

i say no need...

i noe tat he dun believe me...

nvm la..

he dun believe...

i also no need to explain anymore...

becos he dun trust me..

see la..

his gf accident he also dun trust...

if i reali dead...

he also not trust rite?

he think i bluff him..

excuse lo..

y i wan to lie him?

is good for me?

IS NO~!!!

he dun caring me n loving at all...

i noe de....

i can feel it...

if he reali love me...

can he show for me how much he love me?
until now my head still pain...

just now i go outside alone walk walk....

its raining de...

i hope tat i can suddenly die in the road..

becos i loose everything....

i loose my love n him...

if i die edi...

no more sad n hurt for me...

but i love him...

i reali love him so much...

he dunno...

now he at his friend sister wedding dinner...
friday is our together 1000 days...

i think he wont remember de la...

1000 days....

is a big number....

next year i will Pokai edi...

i have to prepare present n use a lot money...

i need to buy valentine's day present...3rd years anniversary present....

and the most important the present is him 21st birthday present....

i already think wat i wan to buy edi...

next month i wan to save money edi...

hmm....
just now check the i-phone 4s price...

feel wanna buy...

but i feel wanna use couple phone wit him...

dunno he wan a not...

haiz..

burberry n LV bag...

when i only can get u ?

ask him to buy for me...

but he give me the answer is NO~!!

suan la..

dun wan to ask him give me everything tat i wan...

cos is no use...

he wont buy for me de la..
buy by myself la...

dissapointed day for me T__T

today is the day im giving up about the happen....
wat is tat?
i asking him will him register wit me at next year 12-12-2012?
he say wit me...
"i love you la ...ok...pls dun ask me ok...let me time lo can ma.."
wat mean is tat?
everytime i get the answer is nth...
i was feel so hurt...
y he cant get my point?
a girl say wanna register wit him...
he sure feel happy n lucky...
but he not...
he just lik nth...
he dun care everything...
i crying again...
its not becos im small gas....
is im hurt..i feel sad....
suan la...
he dun wan to register wit me..
i wont force him anymore...
i give up...
im tired to get the answer from him...
i noe....
he dun love me...he dun wan me be his wife...dun wan me be his lao po..
if he love me...
he wont make me dissapointed...
i wont asking him anymore...
its enough de...
i have no more confident...
i put a lot hopes for him...
i give him chance...
but until the end i get dissapointed....
nvm la...
alone forever la...
be the person in is heart is no place ...
forever be his gf enough de....
i hope tat he can give me happines...
and i just wanna give him my a part of life...
but he dont wan...
he dun waN wit me until end of the world n until the end i die....
dun force him n wont asking him anymore...
katherine lee...
let urself to put down...
start ur alone life...
wat a romantic propose marriage...
all just is dream...
will not be true in my life..
wake up la..!!!
its just a dream~!!!
he wont married u~!!!
12-12-2012 is not u n him register day~!!!
until the end he wont married u also~!!
ur wish n hopes at 21st married him wont be true...!!
let it go n give up k~!!!

im crying...
is i dissapointed...
cos i tell a guy say i wan to register wit him...
but he dun wan...
i feel so malu...
tis things in my life for me is very malu...
tell myself stop crying....
but i cant~!!!

ryan ng chen wei...
u will nvr noe how much i dissapointed...
u will nvr noe how much i love u...
if got 1 day i leave tis world..
u will regret u dint married me ma??
today is 12-11-2011...
until next year today...
will we register ?
when my finger will wearing ur married ring?
:'(
T___T

breaking heart (the 3rd days)

wat im doin now?
listen song..crying...emo...
tis is all tat wat i can do now...
yesterday he came find me..
i treat him very very cold..
tis is wat i wan?
i dunno..
i just have the feel wan to do it...
now...
he at sunway..
he go pitbull concert...
until now...
he also dint reply my msg...
he got time play facebook also dun wan to reply me...
i hate it...
the last msg he send for me is "busy la wei drinking now "~....
tis is wat he wan to say wit me...
now my heart damn angry him...
i hate wat he did for me...
he not treat me as gf also...
he just care himself...
me? just lik a rubbish for him...
he go out wit friends wont sms me wan...
sometimes i think...
izit he go out wit another girl?
im trying to trust him...
but...
i dun no the answer he going out wit who...
now he lave me alone...
he dun care me at all...
he just drink...
my heart say "drink la , drink la , drink until u vomit , until u forget me ,dun remember me "
now my feeling is...
i dun care him edi...becos he also dun wan to care me...
izit he dun scare will run away n suddenly leave him?
i keep thinking a lot things...
i wanna to do it...
but...
i reali need a times...

be4 im the person always smile...
but...
after break up wit my ex..
i get hurt...
hurt until i wanna die...
now...
tis bf...
make me wanna die also...
im not xing ku together wit him...
is he dun understand wat i wan...
he make me angry, make me cry...
also dun wan to tam me bak...
i already so long dint hear he say "i love you baby" and "i miss you baby" wit me edi...
msg also dun have....sometimes...
i feel wanna alone to cry until enought..
cry until i tired....
im trying to eat the medicine to make me sleep well...
if got 1 day i leave...
wat he will feel...
i reali hope tat got 1 day...
i fall sleep edi until i cant wake up anymore...
becos i noe tat i cant stay here anymore...
becos i get hurt so much...
no ppl caring...
no ppl loving...
i reali cant feel tat im happinese now..
reali cant...

katherine lee...
cry la...cry until enough...
until u die at 1 day...
leave the world...
how much u cry..
how much u heart pain..
ryan ng will never noe..

i keeplisten tis song n crying now...
i wanna get drunk... T__T
http://youtu.be/RrZotyFi7S8