刚才你骂我，我才知道原来我在你心里是一个酱的人，你说过，不会用粗口骂我，可是你刚才骂我每一句，我都听得很清楚，我没有说过不给你去，为什么你要酱大声的对我，为什么不要听我讲先，我只是想要问你晚上可以陪我吃晚餐而已吗，因为家里现在一个人都没有，可是我还没有讲，你就酱大声的用粗口骂我，我的任性，我的脾气，原来你是忍受不到的，原来我们在一起时错的，你忍受我那么久，对不起，让你受委屈，既然你都不想再忍受我，那我们分手吧，好吗？我不想你再酱辛苦，我令愿我自己伤心，自己心痛，自己每一天哭，我都不要你辛苦的去忍受我，我喜欢叫你老公，因为我真的把你当成是我的老公看待，我喜欢你叫我老婆，因为我要做你身边最亲的人，老公，对不起，所有都是我的错，以后你都不需要忍我了，好好的照顾自己，要记住，你永远都是我最爱的人，在我心里你是最重要的人，可是现在不能待在你身边了，我还是会想你，因为我真的很爱你，我不想你辛苦，所以我做了这个决定，虽然这不是我想要的，可是我只想你开心的过每一天～我爱你

很久没有updated 我的blog了～

我～我的心真的很乱～

很烦·～

我不懂自己怎么了～

觉得和你的距离越来越远了～

我很想放弃这一段感情～

我知道自己没有像以前酱爱你了～

以前有100%的爱你～

可是现在我想只有75%吧～

亲爱的～

你知道吗？

我觉得我不应该和你在一起～

我没有比以前快乐～

我比以前更加伤心了～

流泪也更加躲过多过以前～

因为我从来没有让我自己男朋友酱对过我的～

你开始打我了，弄伤我，对我发脾气，生气我～

那天12/12/2010～

我们吵大架了～

我当面和你提出分手～

可是你不肯～

你一直哄回我～

叫我原谅你所对我做的一切～

叫我原谅你的过错～

你知道吗？

我真的不想再给机会你了～

我更本不想原谅你了～

更本不想和你在一起了～

因为我受够了～

我真的不能忍受你所做的事～

你让我没有办法像以前那么爱你了～

对～

和你一起之后～

我觉得自己变了很多～

变得高贵了～

会用和买名牌的东西～

打扮也变了～

不像以前的小妹妹～

现在已经是一个成熟的女生了～

也很爱美了～

可是唯一变到最明显的就是～

我变得脆弱了～

觉得自己很不坚强～

很容易哭～

今年也是哭最多的～

我一直问自己～

是不是不应该和你在一起～

haiz....
he go club edi..
i damn moody now....
dun no wan how...
just listen song n keep crying...
dun no he wat time will bak....
keep thinking wat he will do at the club...
will hug another girl?
will do something wrong wit another girl?....
ya...
i noe he sure will see leng lui...
cos at club all the girl also is sexy wan...
he sure will see...
but....
my heart pain de...
im sad...
i need crying now...

haiz...
y he must go...
did him thinking about my feeling?
did him noe im sad now?
did him noe im crying now...?
did him noe im unhappy.??

dear...
y u cant listen wat i say?
did i importamt for u?
i feel wanna die now...
i reali cant tolerate u go club...
i cant accept...
i wanna make myself drunk....
i dun wan thinking edi...

TODAY ~ 18/11/2010~

today my mood is damn moody....
becos...
i think me n him wan break edi...
i crying lik hell now...
write my blog n keep crying now....
i so xin ku edi...
i wanna die...
if can i hope i can die now...
than i wont hurt anymore...
if have a wish...
i wish i nvr come to tis word...

i quarrel wit my dear...
becos something happen...
when i say NO!!!
than he starting use bad word scold me edi...
did he noe when he use all the bad word scold me...
my heart keep pain...
lik a knife keep hurt me...
my heart all the blood come out de...
just lik a water...

haiz...
dear....
u noe wat my feeling now...
u ask me...
izit wanna break wit u seriously...
my answer is "NO"!!!
haiz...
maybe u think im a bad girl...
im small gas....
but...
u will noe y i will do tat for u wan...

i going crazy...
crying until lik hell now~~!!!!

long time dint updated my blog edi....
hmm...
how about my life now...
i can say is "very good"....
my life...
my relationship are very good...
all i have now...
all i wan now...
me n my dear relationship more good than be4 edi...
no more argue...
he treat me more good than be4 edi....
i love now the feeling...
hope we can keep lik tat...
hope our relationship will until the end...

about me leh...
hmmm...
starting go out until mid9 only go home...
haha....
still call my dear over9 at my house...
very over jor...
next time can go club edi...
haha...
waiting the time....

tat day my birthday..
at 6/8/2010 my dear come find me n we go TS watch movie & buy cloth....
than 7/8/2010 he go my secondary school fetch me after my school katin day....
dear he bought me a Baskin Robin Ice-cream Cake for me..
than at 9 we go mid veally watch movie "takken"...
we go Chili's eat our Dinner....
after eat dinner still got time then we go walk walk lo...
dear he dint bought present for me...
he call me choose....
but i dun no wat i wan...
tat day i told him i wan the bag...
but he dint say wan buy....
so i dint say anything la...
then we go Pet's Wonderland there....
i saw a rabbit so cute....
white colour wan..
i tell dear i wan tat.....
but he lik dint hear wat i say...
he straight hold me go...
tat time my mood so down....
feel dun wan talk wit him...
just feel no mood....
he saw me lik tat..
keep ask me wat happen....
y i suddenly lik tat...
i keep say i nth...
i noe he dun no y i moody...
tat time i feel i angry him...
dun no y...
no becos he dint buy the rabbit for me...
is becos he dint listen wat i say....
until we go in to the cinema...
i also dint talk wit him....
he hold me...
i keep push him...
keep ignore him lik tat...
i noe dear wan keep make me happy n give me a unforgetable birthday for me...
but tat day i really not happy...
sorry dear if i make u moody...
i noe tat day u angry me...
very sorry....
finnish movie than we go bak home...
tat day dear stay at my house...
after i go bak my room...
he still keep tam me...
i cry infront of him....
sorry dear...
i noe u already try ur best to give me everything....
dear ask me:"baby,when ur birthday,got any bf bring u go eat a great dinner ma?,got any bf buy a expansive birthday cake for u ma?got any bf give u wan u wan ma?"
i just say :"only u can give me lo"
he lik so syok...
thx dear...
baby love u so much....

but...
u noe wat i wan for my present ma?
i wan a pair of ring....inside got our name wan...
a pet u buy for me...
cos i wan when u not beside me...
the pat can company me....
i noe dear now still is a student...
so i wont told u i wan all tis....
i dun wan make dear stress...

next month dear go P.Langkawi wit his college friends....
i dint go...
cos he dint say wan bring me go...
nvm la...
tat 3 days i sure boring wan...
cos he go enjoy wont sms wit me too much...
i noe will less....
nvm la...
unhappy only keep in my heart...
i dun wan let him noe...
cos i dun wan he go there enjoy also no mood...
just tolerate la...
but i will miss him...

dear...
just wan u understand....
baby love u so much...
just dun wan leave u...
wan always stay wit u...
do u?

现在的我，满脑子还想着昨天！
我们听着这首歌！
“nothing's gonna change my love for you”！
那时的我们的真的很甜蜜！
我只是想，希望这个片段会停留着！
现在我的心情是，很甜蜜，当我听着这首歌！
心里觉得，我又很爱很爱你了！
是不是我们见面的时候，我们的感情会比较的甜蜜！
昨天的事情我真的忘不了！
真的很开心！
心觉得甜甜的！
希望我们的感情可以维持下去！

生日就来到了！
我的生日愿望有很多！
不过我会用心的去祈祷实现！
今年的生日不懂怎样过呢？
我想去trip，一天的trip也好！
想在8月6号和朋友们喝酒！
可是不懂可以吗！
今年想要的东西是，其实我不贪心，我要的只是普通礼物而已！
一个蛋糕，一束玫瑰花，一对戒子，一顿浪漫的晚餐，一份你用心去选的礼物！
如果你真的有买到戒子的话，我希望戴上以后，你可以对我承诺你会永远的爱我，戴上以后无论发生什么事都不可以脱下来！你可以帮我实现我想要的东西吗？
昨天我特地问你，我说“我的生日礼物呢，选了吗？”你说“还没有”，我就说你“没良心”！
你就说“生日礼物当然要有惊喜的嘛”！
其实我的心真的希望你能给我一个难忘的惊喜！
就算这是你帮我庆祝最后的一次生日，我也想要有一个很难忘的生日！
不过我不希望这是最后一次你帮我庆生！

突然觉得想嫁了！
哈哈！
发疯了吗！
才19岁就要嫁人！
再等等吧！

昨天，我搭ktm去了他家！
之后当我和他借他的电话！
他好像在那边delete他跟那些女生的信息！
之后我说“不用借了，不需要了，我知道你已经delete了”
他死都不肯承认，可是我心里已经知道答案！
之后我就看到他电话有那个叫cherrie的照片！
而且还看到他打给那个女孩子，还谈了半个小时！
有时会打给他！
当时我的心很乱！
他抱住我的时候，我一直反抗，一直推开他！
他吻我的时候，我都也不懂，只是静静的看住他！
他知道我不开心了，因为平时他和我接吻的时候我并不是酱的！
我真的忍不住了！
我哭着面对面和他说：“算吧，你以后做什么事我都不管了，我真的累了，我真的辛苦了，你每次都sms给几个女生，之前是一个叫zi jin，kelly，而现在是一个叫cherrie，xue ting，你电话还收着他们的照片，到底是什么意思？你要每天都找他们，要打给他们是吗？那你sms到够吧，我不想再管你了，我管不了你，你做每一件事的时候有想到我吗？你本身是有女朋友的啊，为什么还要找别的女生sms，你说你们是很久没联络，sms没有关系，可是你是和他们每天都sms，还打给他们，说什么谈他们的college life，他们的college life 关你什么事，为什么就是每一个都要和你谈，为什么他们要给你电话号码，他们到底想怎样？你到低想怎样？你每次都要伤我，我每一天都要哭，如果是酱的话，我帮你做决定吧，你不要我好了，去找他们吧，我在你心里已经没有地位，在你心里已经不重要了！你还是不要我吧！我帮你选啦！
当我和他说每一个字，我都是在流泪，而他就很不开心的帮擦泪！
我流一滴眼泪，他就说“不要哭，好吗？”！
之后我就转身，而他就紧紧的抱住我！
我望着他，问他“我在你心里更本不重要是吗？”他摇头说“不是”！
我再问“你要他们还是我，你好好的想清楚”
他突然把我的头推到他前面，摸摸我的头，摸摸我的脸，把我抱着，然后他亲亲我的脸和我的嘴，眼里有一点泪光，和我说“我要你”！
当他说出这句我，我哭了，我抱住他！
他就说“宝贝，不要再想太多了，好吗？”
我并没有回答他！
其实，我知道他是一个口是心非的人！
他很怕失去我！
他不会不要我，他的心其实很爱我，很疼我！
我知道，他真的很疼我，回家那时，我忘了拿戒子，他就说改天才拿，可是那个戒指一定要每天在我身边，不可以离开我的，我就撒娇叫他回去拿，当时他是不爽了的，因为要到回他的家，有点麻烦，可是到最后他还是回去拿了，他就说“拿给你了不用说什么啊？”我就说“谢谢”，他说“谢谢谁？”，我知道他是想要听我叫他dear的，我就说“谢谢dear”，他笑了，摸摸我的头！:)
对！有时候他会对我很过分，骂我，骂我粗口，讲我！
可是当我发脾气把一切告诉把他！
至少他还会亲口和我道歉！
我只希望他可以知错能改！
机会我还是会给他！

我现在只是想知道！
我和他可以一生一世吗？

我真的要做一个决定了～
我不能再这样下去！
我现在的生活可以说是很“伤心”，“痛苦”！
每天都要流泪！
我真的很辛苦了！
我挨不到下去了！
或许明天的约会是我们的最后一次～
或许在你载我回家的途中我会告诉你那两个字～
你要知道，你要明白！
我是逼不得已的！
是你让我要说出口！
是你让我对我们的感情没有了信心！
我们的最后一天会过的怎样？
当我和你说出那两个字，你会有什么反应？
会挽回我吗？
还是默默的不出声？
这样我有答案吗？
我的心好乱！
好烦！


宝宝！
我们要离开爸爸了！
你会怪妈妈吗？
因为你爸爸不听话！
所以让妈妈很伤心的要离开他！

或许我应该离开这个地方！
离开属于我和他的回忆！
到另一边开始我的新生活！

黄正维！
我和你是不是到此结束？
我是不是做不到你的老婆，做不到你的黄太太了！
是不是不能在你身边了！
如果有的选择！
我令愿有一个希望让我实现！
就是你从来没有变过，依然还是以前很爱我，很疼我，很关心我，很保护我的黄正维！
过着开开心心，甜甜蜜蜜的日子！
这是我想要的！
我只想要这些！
你还记得你以前说的话吗？
你答应我什么吗？
你说你会爱我一辈子！
要我做你的老婆！
会娶我！
永远不会和我分开！
这些你都忘了吗？
这些都是你骗我的吗？
为什么你说到做不到？
我讨厌你违背承诺！

天啊天！
可以帮我实现愿望吗？
可以帮我那么一次吗？

where is him now...
i keep calling him...
but he dint pick up...
i worry him...
dear...
can u call me bak ma...
i waiting u....

my stomach keep pain...
dear...
i need u...
where r u?

我真的要放弃你了吗？
我一直在问自己！
我....要放手吗？
放手后是不是对我好？
让我不再痛苦！
不再流泪！
我到底怎样了？
我想怎样？
我自己还不清楚！
我心很乱！
或许时间真的能让我忘记一切！
让我对他的感情慢慢变淡！
我会这样做吗？
天啊天！
可不可以不要这样折磨我？
可以让我和他有个了断吗？
我真的撑不住了！

long time dint update my blog edi....
hmmm...
today hear a bad news...
is...
my darling GWEN n his bf NESTY break up edi....
haiz...
so suddenly....
maybe darling reali need some times to rest la...
"darling,hope u everything will be fine.."...

hmmm....
then me leh...
n my dear....
different edi lo...
me lo...
haiz...
now starting no change myself edi...
dear....
hope we can lik be4....
i love u so much....

maybe i reali cant trust u anymore....
cos u bluff me too much...

long time dint update my blog edi....
hmmm...
tis few week feel damn sad la...
also is same happen wit him...
i feel myself damn bad la...
damn unlucky...

i already told him so many times....
but he still keep lik tat...
dear..
u told me la...
wat can i do now?...
wat u wan now?

tis 3 days he never say he miss me n he love me edi...
n i also keep crying...
just feel sad....
damn sad....

分手我也和你说过了！
你到底想要我怎样？
你知道吗？
我真的不想活了，我真的累了！
为什么你一时要对我好，一时就对我不好！
之前我原谅你，是因为我知道你会为我改过！
是你自己亲口发誓说你会永远爱我，会照顾我，会保护我，不会让我再流泪，不会再骗我！
对！那几天你真的对我很好，很保护我！
可是到最后呢！
你没有这样了！
现在学会骗我！
问你在哪里你不说，只说你自己一个人！
我知道你骗我，可是我能怎样！
我只能当不懂！
打给你不要接我电话！
信息你不要回复！
你对我很没有交代！
做什么事也不要和我说！
我讨厌你了！
我讨厌自己的男朋友酱对我！
追求我那时就对我很好！
很关心我！
很爱我！
很想我！
还说会爱我一辈子！
可是你说这些都是骗人的！
全部都是谎言！
求你！
不要再这样对我！
我受够了！
我很辛苦了！
要不要爱我！
要不要我！
要不要娶我！
不喜欢吧！
付出了的东西再也不可以拿回了！

现在的我！
活的好苦！
最爱的人都这样对我！
我爱他！
他懂吗？
他只会让我哭，让我伤心，让我担心，让我心痛！
黄正维！
你会爱我一辈子吗？
会娶我做你的黄太太吗？
会要我永远做你的老婆吗？
告诉我！
我需要你的答案！

tat day...
23th april...
i 1st time call him leave me...
cos he doin something make me damn hurt,damn sad,damn angry...
i feel lik dun wan forgive him anymore...
but...
when he hug me tight tight....
n cry infront of me...
i feel lik so sad...
cos i never saw him cry becos of me...
maybe i feel him will change...
so i just will forgive him...
give him a chance to change....

thursday until today...
he keep going out...
dun have spend time on me...
everyday just out out out....
haiz..
reali is his friends more important than me ma...
i dun no...
until now i dint find him...
cos i noe he wont reply my msg...
he busy wit his friends....
nvm la...
im stupid ma....
always wait for him wan...
katherine lee....
u r a stupid girls...

long time dint update my blog....
yesterday wan go watch movie wit dear wan...
but he suddenlty say his dad birthday...
so at 9 got dinner...
then we dint watch movie liao...
afternoon my dear come my house fetch me...
then go his house lu....
we go buy cake for his dad...
after reach his house....
i feel lik fever edi...
so ask my dear izit i fever....
he say yes....
then dear make some honey water for me drink...
he wan me eat medicine...
but i dun wan...
he keep force me eat...
then hor...
i saw the medicine the date already expired....
lucky i din eat...
if not i already die lo....
haha....
then after i drink water....
i go toilet...
i vomit ...
then i told my dear....
he go take panadol for me eat...
then after eat he call me go sleep lo..
then hug my dear sleep together...
sleep until 6 something lik tat...
wake up go out eat dinner wit his family for his dad birthday....
eat seafood dinner at PJ....
opppsss....
i never go the place eating leh...
all the seafood damn nice...
but...
damn expansive also...
haha....
but....
anyway....
thx his dad....
n happy birthday to u uncle....
haha...
finnish eat dinner then dear fetch me go bak liao lo...
tis sunday is dear birthday....
i already prepare some present for him...
hehe..
excited to celebrate wit my dear...
huhu...

ltr dear will go clubbing wit his friends....
but me ....
at home crying wait him bak...
i damn heart pain....
i said let him go...
but my heart not thinking lik tat wan....
now my heart is very pain....
n crying now....
cos i scare....
there got a lot leng lui....
i dun no wat he will do....
he see leng lui sure got wan....
but....
i jealous....
i damn jealous...
cos dear is mines wan....
he always is mines wan...
he promise me tis time is he last time go club....
i will trust him....
dear....
faster go bak home....
babe reali very need u...
DEAR...!!!

21th sunday is me n my dear together 1 years anniversary...
wi~~~
happy happy...
so fast leh...
already together 1 years..
ya...
sometimes we argue....
but...
i noe we will nth wan..
we will more better....
will more understand each other....
sunday will go celebrate wit dear dear...
hope will get a enjoy n sweet memory on tat day....
excided to waiting tat day....

for dear dear...
dear...
thx for u tis 1 years take k me n caring me...
love me n sayang me...
babe love u so much...
hope we can together forever....
we still will every year celebrate all the days...
i wan always at beside u....
i will let u take k me forever...
muack...
dear...
i love u so much....

last 9 i sick edi...
then i tod today u will come find me n take k me...
but leh...
u say go eat wit friends....
then dint come...
u go eat wit friends more important come take k me rite...
im still important for u ma...
how much u caring me...
i already noe...
im important for u a not i also noe...
next time i sick edi also dont wan tell u...
cos u wont 1st time come find me...

i feel so sad...
y my dear will so rude now...
who teaching him lik tat....
everyday say bad word....
talk wit me everytime also will say "diu"...
be4 he wont treat me so rude wan...
now de dear dear...
already change...
he will beat me liao..
tat time he beat me until very pain....
but i dont wan tell him...
i just tolerate only...
he will say bad word wit me edi....
im his gf ar....
y he wont say sweet word wit me...
i damn hate he treat me lik tat...
i damn heart pain...
everyday i just will sad...
i sad becos he do all tat...
but him leh...
just will say i everyday also cry...
he dont no wat reason i will cry...
he say me together wit him not happy...
he is wrong...
im not together wit him unhappy...
i very happy got him....
i unhappy is becos he treat me rude...
wont sayang me...
wont treat me lik his bao bei...
he say will protect me...
but now he treat me so rude he not protect me edi...
sometimes i damn hate him...
but i just hate him awhile...
cos he is my dear...
i bu she de hate him so long..
sometimes he say me fan...
say me very noisy..
i dont no y he will say me until lik tat...
when i hear he say lik tat...
i so sad....
i crying...
i damn heart pain...
but...
he noe ma...
he never will noe how my feeling.....
he wont care me..
im still is his gf ma...
y he always treat me lik tat...

cos i love him...
i treat him lik my bao bei...
cant let him get hurt..
im his gf...
but how also i will protect him...
becos him i die also nvm....
i just wan always be wit him...
i wan always together wit him...
but he wan together wit me forever a not i dont no...
i wont force him...

dear...
how u treat me...
i just tolerate la...
wat u do worng..
until now u still havent change...
u never noe u treat me bad how my feeling...
always u just think urself only...
i told u...
no ppl will tolerate u...
cos u very rude...
not very rude...
is too rude...
i can tolerate u...
i also dont no y...
but my heart...
everyday also pain...
still got few days we already together 1 years...
but...
u will noe ma?
we wan how to celebrate u also dint say...
maybe u already forget la...
i still say wan u give me surprise...
but now i think no surprise edi la...
i wont remind u tat day is wat day edi....
if u feel very important...
u will remember wan..
no need i say u also will celebrate wit me...
will give me a surprise...
1 years edi...
how much i love u...
how much u hurt me...
how many times u say me fan, say me noisy....
how many times u scold me...
how many times u beat me...
how many times i cry becos u....
how many times i sad....
how many times i heart pain...
all tat u noe ma??

i treat u how u noe ma?
i love u so much u noe ma?
now u sleeping edi..
i call u ...
u just will so rude to scold me...
say me fan...
u noe u how ma...
i talking wit u....
u sleep..
then i just wake u up only...
also get scold from u...
u everytime sleep also dint say good 9 wit me...
never noe im here wan....
feel lik i die edi...
wat i do for u also wrong wan...
rite...

u dont wan respect me nvm...
see i wan tolerate until when la...
my family already treat me lik tat...
now is dear...
if i cant tolerate...
i will leave here...
go no ppl know me the place...
cos i damn tired edi...
i dont wan give me parents scold me..
i dont wan wit dear got something happen...
now my parents argue wit me..
scold me...
i only got dear ....
but dear also will same wit them...
i feel i so pity...
izit die edi u all will happy...
y u all wan treat me lik tat...

now ming kor kor at australia...
wat happen on me i also dont no how to say wit him...
kor...
ur mui mui so stupid rite...

dear...
now u treat me the feeling different edi...
sayang me...
caring me...
love me...
treat me good...
all tat feeling already gone...

wat u wan i also give u...
but after u wan...
then throw me...
lik nth happen wit me...
lik no need responsible...
i feel i just lik a ball...
dont wan me liao then kick me out....
lik a garbage...
dont wan liao then throw it...
so easy only...
dear...
rite...

dear...
babe damn miss u..
i hope dear can always at beside me...
hope can everyday see u...
hope can stay wit u..
i noe now cant....
but i hope as fast as long lo...
every day...every hour...every minute...every second...
i also dont wan leave u!!!!
dear ..
i reali very need u...

tat time dear u say u dont have me anymore...
but yesterday i ask dear dear...
dear...
u noe u say wat ma...u say...
"if i dont love u i come find u for wat"...
dear....
u noe ma...
when i hear u say tat...
i wan cry de...
cos i do it de...
i take bak dear the heart come bak edi...
dear love me edi...
tat day hear dear say "i love u" wit me...
i feel very touch..
cos u long time dint say wit me lik tat edi...
dear....
i will keep to make u love me more...
i noe i can do it....

sometimes we still got argue....
but awhile edi we nth liao...
dear...
thx u everytime also tolerate my attitude...
i hope dear can love me more...
care me more...
i wan be the important in ur heart....
dear...
i love u so much..

now is 2.09am....
until now still cant sleep...

i damn moody now...
i feel lik hate my family now....
damn hate...
y...
y they just will scold me...
they wan me go find work...
now i already get job...
but they call me dont go work...
cos until 10pm only finnish work...
wth...
now i find work edi u all also wan scold me...
i dint find work u also wan scold me...
y not fair for me...
u all never noe find work is how hard....
i go there work no need u come fetch me...
i will take bus go bak by myself...
somemore there the salary also very high...
i still can at there learn english...
ask urself la....
u got ask me how i working at there ma??
huh...
u all never ask...
u all just hear the time then dont let me work at there....
y....
i reali dont understand u all..

but...
i damn moody now is...
i never let my mom scold me until lik hell...
make me cry until i cant stop...
i damn heart pain she scold me lik tat....
mom...
im reali is ur daughter ma?
y u will scold me until lik tat...
u say i angry wit 2nd bro...
not i wan angry wit him ok...
is he small gas...
everytime just a small things then lock my computer dont let me on9...
now is he black face wit me ok....
y u must scold me...
y u dont wan go scold him....
y u very not fair for me...
i feel u sayang him more then me...
wat also just scold me...
wat also just blame on me...
u make me no more the mother love daughter the feeling edi...
if u wan let dad beat me then u say la...
i noe u always wan me let daddy scold me wan...
if he beat me i think u more happy...
u dont think i dont no wat ur face la...
sometimes u say something until the voice so blast....
i noe u is wan let daddy hear it...
u always is lik tat...
u wan let him scold me beat me then u say la...
no need do a lot things wan...
u wan i die then u say la....
just now when u scold me....
i cry until cant breathe....
u noe wat u say ma...
u say i be pity....
u noe tat time i cant breathe ma....
u noe the feeling ma...
y u can say i be pity wan...
mom...
i damn hate u now...
i damn sad becos u now....
i already broken heart from u edi....

dad also...
always just will treat me lik a small kind...
dad....
i already 19 years ar...
y u still dont let me freedom...
y i wan pak tuo now u also wan stop me...
u noe wat kind of my bf meh...
huh...
i already 19 years old ar....
can u dont treat me lik a small kind ma....
i noe wat i do wat is fault wat is true ar...
i go out u also wan ask got boys a not...
y u never let me be friends wit boy....
all my boys friend not tat bad guys.....
u always just will think i give ppl lie...
u think im stupid meh...
wat kind of my friends all i noe...
no need u all to worry me....
i just dont wan u all to treat me lik a small kind...
i wan freedom u noe ma...
pls la ...
can ma....
u all dont make me leave from tis house can ma...
i reali cant tolerate u all treat me lik tat ar....
if u all wan scold me blame me born me for wat o...
huh....
dad & mom & bro....
u all reali make me damn hate u all now...
i reali feel lik wan leave from tis house....
i just wan do i like do the things....
can u all dont be busybody ma...
can let me freedom ma...
huh....
pls la...
dont force me leave from this house....
i damn hate u all now...

dear ryan...
thx u....
thx u becos when got something happen on me u never leave me alone crying n sad...
u always by myside to caring me...
wat happen also u will protect me...
dear..
u very important for me...
i love u so much...
i cant leave u...
dear....
thx...

today is chinese new year n valentines day o...
happy chinese new year....
happy valentines day...

just come bak fromn mid veally wit dear dear...
we celebrate valentines day....
when reach there we go eat dinner 1st...
at "delicious"....
then go the gardens watch movie...
but all also late..
so dont wan watch....
then go walk walk lu...
dear dear give me a surprise....
he at famous amos buy a flower for me...
inside got chocklate n bear bear...
nice nice...
thx dear dear o...
muackx...

then we go bak lu...
reach home already 9.30 lo...
2moro go my grandmom house...
^^

nite nite...
waiting my dear reach home...

yup...
he dont have feeling on me edi...
y...
last year today...
is my ex break wit me...
tis year toady...
is my bf dont wan me....
but..
we havent can say break up...
cos we give us a chance to continue...
but...
i scare will break..

dear...
y i do wrong...
y u wan treat me lik tat....
i dont wan u treat me lik sister...
i dont wan be ur sister...
just wan be ur gf...
if u reli cant together wit me...
then i dont force u la....
i let u go...
cos i noe....
i cant get ur heart again...
but...
now we still got chance...
i will try my best to get ur heart bak...
i noe i can do it...

dear...
just wan told u...
if we break up...
i still will love u...
still will miss u...
still will worry u....
still will care u....
cos i cant change...
i cannot change i treat u the feeling...
never can change...
is heart pain just only me pain...
give ppl hurt only me...
i just wan u happy...
then i also will happy...
maybe u without me u will more better...
will more happy...
but u leave me edi...
i wont happy anymore...
wont smile anymore...
i said wit u edi...
"without u...no more life for me"...

i feel i so useless...
cant make u love me so much...
but...
i just wan say...
i love u so much....
Ryan Ng Chen Wei...
i cannot leave u...
i cannot loose u...
u r my only one....

CANT....

be4 when i call u leave me....
then u hug me cry n say....
"babe,dont leave me"....
tat time i feel....
y u will cry becos me...
i feel very touch...
cos is u 1st time cry becos me...
so i just will give u a chance...

izit u together wit me so long...
u just will feel so boring...?
wat happen on u...
i reali dont no...
when we just can lik be4....
very sweet...
very happy everyday....

u already very long time dint say some sweet word wit me...
dint hear u say wit me " i miss u babe...i love u babe"....
y...
i love the ppl dont love me...
i dont love the ppl love me...

y my relationship wan lik tat...
izit i always will give all my bf bluff....
give they hurt me??
huh....

i already tired...
where is my true love...
where is my lover....
where is my husband....
where my sayang mw the ppl??
where they go??

ryan ng chen wei...
is u ma?
u told me...
can ma...

i cry again....
now i everyday also just will cry...
i already try my best to treat u edi...
y u still cant tresure me???
or u wan i die edi u just will treasure me....
huh....
izit wan i lik tat??
now i very down...
very moody...
very sad...
damn stress....

So maybe it's true,
That I can't live without you
Well maybe two
is better than one
There's so much time,
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undon
eAnd I'm thinking two,Is better than one

me n my dear got something happen again....
haiz...
i just hope he wont give up our relationship....
but...
i also dont wan force him to love me....
if hurt...
i hurt only....
but....
i still will love him....
how we can settle happen it...
i dont no...
i already jin li....

i miss him....
but i noe....
he dint miss me...
i love him....
but i noe...
he dint love me so much edi...
he lik sometimes love me...
sometimes dont love me...
i feel sad...
but...
i will give him some times...
i noe i can wait...
i noe he will love me so much...
i trust him....

pls....
i dont wan we leave each other...
i love him...
i love him so much...
cant live without him....
he is my everything...
nothing is gonna change my love for u...
i just wan u...
u is my last....
i trust myself....
if without u...
i wont start my new relationship edi....

cos....
i get hurt....
my heart lik broken...
i feel no ppl will love me forever...
but...
i just will love ppl forever...
tat person is...
Ryan Ng Chen Wei...
i love him....

today i went out wit my darling Gwen..her bf Nesty...n my dear Ryan also....
1st time meet my darling Gwen....
so enjoyed wit them....

we go pavilion watch "woohoo" movie....
tis movie damn nice....
got some part is so funny...
got some part is very touch wan...
nice movie...

after finnish movie then we go pavilion outside & inside take pic...
but...
me n darling just take 2 pic only..
so few....
:(
hope got chance can take wit her again...

then we go TS...
walk walk...
than i buy new year shirt....
finnish buying than we go jalan ah low eating our dinner...
at a restoran....
finnish eating already 9.30pm lik tat....
than we go bak lu...
reach home edi damn tired...
blerrr....

hope can go out wit my darling Gwen...
^^V

pic will upload at my facebook...

gwen darling & nesty...

me n my dear Ryan

boring leh...

my dear sleep jor...

so early...

nvm la...

he tired jor...

early morning go working ....

than still wan go college...

must tired lo...

let him sleep la...

(^OO^)....

he is my pig..

kaka...

tis sunday go ts watch movie wit my dear ryan, gwen darling n her bf nesty...

1st time go watch movie wit darling leh...

n 1st time see her leh....

hehe...

hope can get a nice memory wit gwen darling la...

^^

erm...

my mom told me dont find working 1st...

cos she call me make chinese new year biscuit wit her o..

somemore got salary give me wan....

kaka....

too good...

no need go outside work...

still got 1 months lik tat chinese new year lo...

so fast o...

but....

i still havent but new year shirt....

cos now no $$ leh...

haiz...

sei mou...

so poor jor...

blerrr....

我想我还是不够成熟还达不到 你的要求我真的没有想的太多只是怀念 你走以后离开 难道真的是解脱难道 真的要事过境迁了以后才懂倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有倔强抬起头 决不让眼泪往下流真的不难过 笑着和你挥挥手如果有一天 我们有缘再见你会不会想起 说过的永远

pls...dont stop it can ma...
dont stop our relationship...
i dont wan...
dont hope...
dont wish...

pain....
my heart pain...
=[

today go interview again....
still the same...
waiting call.......
hope will accept me....
god bless me....

2moro is me n my dear together 300 days..
so fast oo...
still got 65 days is 1 years edi...
wuhoo.....
wink wink...
happy happy....
love my dear so much...
muackxxx....
forever o....

erm...
my ex he find me edi...
he just ask me something....
but...
i feel nth happen...
cos i noe we still is friends...
always is friends....

recently love english song....
y...
be cos my dear...
after together wit him...
less to hear chinese song edi...
somemore now i wan learn hok kian....
my dear teach me...
i teach him cantonese....
he improve edi...
but me...
haiz...
dont no when can talk hok kian with him....
hope as long as fast la...

now waiting chinese new year lo...
but still havent but new year shirt...
i wan buy...
skirt...dress..shirt...shoes...lens...
and i wan dye my hair again....
change colour....
but....
no $$....
so hope can get job than got salary can but i wan all the things...
and promise sook wei treat her play roller....

erm....
tis year velantine day's is me and my dear 2nd time celebrate oo...
cos 1st time is when he at NS....
but true wan tis year is 1st time la...
wat i wan but for him leh...
still dont no leh...
thinking thinking...
n he will how to celebrate wit me leh?
will got surprise ma?
hmmm....
dont no o...
hope will get a surprise la...
waiting waiting....
^^

still got 2 months is me n my dear 1 years anniversary....
i feel lik wan go studio take pic album....
but hor....
my dear say "DONT WAN"....
cos he say "WASTE MONEY"....
haiz...
suan la...
the wish never come true wan....
feel sad...
nvm la...
he dont wan dont force him la....

dear....
last year we together until now...
seriously i reli very happy be wit u...
ya...i noe...
sometimes we argue until lik hell...
but we can settle wan....
rite...
no matter we argue until how...
i noe we wont becos tis leave each other...
i hope we wont augue again...
if got..
i hope just is a little argue...
i just wan say...
together wit u is very happiness....
love u is my jobs...
just wan by urside forever...
be a part in ur life...
hold ur hand until i die...
i love u kiss me...
becos i feel very very sweet....
i love u hug me....
becos i feel very warm n u can protect me...
i love u hold my hand...
becos i noe u wont let me lost at anywhere....
i love u see me...
becos u always say im cute...(syok...blerrr...)

dear...
can be my hubby the person is U....
can be my lao gong the person is U...
can hold my hand the person is U...
can hug me the person is U...
can kiss me the person is U...
can touch me the person is U...
all just only u...

i will wait u give me a forever promise...
i noe i can wait...
i will trust u...
i will wait u...

maybe u think i thinking lik tat is im stupid...
but....
i wont feel lik tat...
cos is becos...
so i feel is "zhi de" wan...

until now havent got job...
haiz....
damn boring at home...
nth can do...
sien...

who can intro some job for me...??

at home damn boring....
somemore now my dear study now...
dont have time teman me...
sometimes still go gym....
haiz...

i wan working ....

our problem izit settle edi...
i dont no ...
but i will trust him...
hope he dint lie me...

just wan he noe...
no matter how we argue also...
i still will tahan...
cos i dont wan got something happen on us...
i dont wan leave each other..
i dont wan...

now i can do is just listen wat u say..
trust u...
always by urside...

dear....
i love u...
so much...

pls dont make me cry again can ma....
can u respect me ma...
can u sayang me more ma...
can u caring me more ma....

31th tat day go genting wit my dear n his friends....
2th just come bak...
finally i get a happy small trip wit my dear...
we got some problem at there...
got a small argue wit my dear....
but now nth edi....
we r ok....

31th...
when go first world hotel tat time...
when walking...
suddenlty give a pokai make me PK....
make my leg damn pain....
hard to walking..
then my dear go buy the oil help me make it ok....
thx dear....
at night i cant go coundown...
cos my leg make me damn pain...
so cant walk....
then at hotel wit my dear countdown....
his friends go hotel outside countdown....
when finnish countdown....
then i fall sleep wit my dear...
cos damn tired...

1th...
morning wake up finnish bath n brush teeth....
then go eat breakfast wit his friends...
kennyrogers...
opppssss....
damn expansive...
then go walk walk lu...
at night we at hotel there play poker...
who is the looser then wan drink the alcohol + coke...
opsss...
i also dont no i drink how many times edi...
but i feel i dint drunk....
wat the hell....
his friends say im pro...
at poker n drink....
lol....
no la....
dont say i lik tat....

2th day....
at starbucks there wait dear father fetch us bak...
at car tat time i got a bit scare a shy....
dont no y...
maybe is 1st time wit my dear dad n mom lo...
then at xar chatting wit dear until reach his house...
at his house eating dinner wit his family lu...
shy shy....
opppssss...
then 9 something lik tat dear fetch me bak lo...
reach home also damn tired edi..
faster go bath then chatting wit dear in phone awhile then sleep lo...

hope can go trip wit dear again oo...
waiting waiting....

at genting not take so many pic....
cos outside raining....
haiz....
take some only lo...