finally i can on9 now...
damn long dint upload my blog...
becos....
my Fucker 2nd BRO....
wat the hell from him....
lock my PC...
dont let me on9....
CB CB cB....

sunday tat day dating wit my dear...
but we got something at tat day...
i never forget wat he do for me...
1 part is damn bad....
1 part is my dear make me to hug him n cry....

i just wan tell me dear....
i really love u so much....
forever...

21th is our 9 months anniversary....
so fast o...
tis months is last month in 2009 edi....
welcome 2010.....

31th go genting wit dear n his friend....
wuhoo....
hope nth will stop my trip o....
cos i wan go trip wit dear...
actually is a small trip...
but i also willl very happy...
waiting tat day...

i miss all my friends...
my darling...
my baby....
my sisters....
my grandmom...
but....
most important is my lao gong RYAN pig pig....
muackssss.....

until now still sick....
flu...
already got 4 days...
haiz...
today my dear promise come my hosue wan...
but he at last minute say he dint promise me....
suan la....
nvm....
dont force him...
i sick until lik tat he also dint say wan bring me go see doctor....
if u reli care me....
how far also u still will come take k me n bring me go see doctor...
but...
u dint...
haiz...
u always broken promise wit me...


who can help me....
i sick until lik hell now...
>.<~~!!!!
T.T

now...
im sad...
feel very very down....

im tired...
reli very tired edi...
pls...
i beg u ok ma..
dont treat me lik tat edi...

now i just noe...
be4 wat i told u...
u also will forget..
wat i wan u change...
u also forget...
u never put in ur heart...
i already told u so many times....
dont treat me lik tat....
if u still wan treat me lik tat...
then u leave me...

i noe...
now u dint love me so much...
dint love me lik be4...
u change edi...
lik another person....
not lik be4 i know the "RYAN"....

now the "RYAN" is how??
dint care his gf....
bit his gf...
ignore his gf....
his gf cry also dont wan care her...dont wan tam her...just let her cry...
she cry still wan say her...
told her continue cry....
he go watch movie 1st....
his gf wan watch movie wit him...
but he told his gf he will going out wit his family..
watch movie also cannot ma???
will waste ur time ma??
y u friends call u go watch movie u straight go....
huh...

i starting to thinking im not important for u edi...
when i go out wit u....
u never hold my hand...
walking lik friends only...
u at left...me at right....
sometimes u at infront....me at behind....
u think la...
got couple lik tat ma??
huh...
u dont wan let ppl noe im ur gf u can told me....
then we dont go out...
but can u dont lik tat ma...
i dont like ar...
u dont wan hold my hand u can told me...
when we walking lik tat...
i feel very sad...
feel very down...
u somemore at there see leng lui....
u still keep see the girls...
until cant leave ur eyes....

yesterday we go gym...
i told u wat the girls do at the room....
u noe wat u told me ma...
u say "can i change place wit u ma"....
u noe u say lik tat is very guo fen ma...
u think u can say lik tat ma....

u at facebook u wont upload us pic...
u wont give some comments in us pic...
at MSN or facebook...or in ur phone also....
u wont use us the pic put at wallpaper....
ur friends the pic u will give they comments....
say they pretty n press u like they pic...
exspecially the girls name call "Shirlynn Ng"....
i noe u sometimes will see her pic in facebook....
sometimes will sms wit her...

yesterday night i told u satuday go see concert...
u told me call another go wit u..
u noe wat u say ma...
huh...
y u can say lik tat wan...
i reli damn PO wit u already....

i noe....
u not tat type of very care gf the guys...
u dont no how to treat ur gf...
dont no how to give her surprise....
dont no how to care gf....
dont no wat u can say n wat u cant say...
u change de....
very big different edi...
not lik be4 i know the "RYAN"...

now the "RYAN" give me the feel is...
sometimes will make me happy....
sometimes will make me sad n cry...
sometimes will treat me good...
sometimes will treat me bad...
sometimes will care me...
sometimes dint care me...

somtimes i go out u also wont worry me...
dint call me be kfull....
lik dint care me wan...
now....
we sms u also dint write "I LOVE U" or "I MISS YOU" for me....
"MUACKXXXX" also dint write for me..
at night when u sleep also dint say " GOOD NIGHT" wit me....
u straight sleep n close me phone....
sometimes u sleep edi i call u wake up....
u scold me....
say me "fan"...say me "noisy"....
y u wan say i lik tat ....
i just wan say "gOOD NIGHT" wit u only....
also cannot ma..
huh..
y u wan scold me lik tat...

RYAN NG CHEN WEI....
i dont no wan how to treat u edi..
i treat u good also useless edi...
u wont treasure me edi...
wont love me so much edi...
wont wan i be ur a part in ur life edi...
n u wont wan i be ur lao po...
be ur gf edi...

u treat me just lik friends....
how much i give u....
u wont noe...
u wont understand wat i wan...
u never noe wat i wan u do....
u never noe how i wan u treat me...
u just noe im small gas ...
im bad....
everyday just will augue wit u...
angry u....
in ur heart....
im not the 1st...
im the last...
im not important for u...

u dont care i got wearing the ring a not..
cos u dint see i got wearing a not..
i dint wearing u also never ask me y dint wearing it...
just lik nth happen...
i got wearing a not also not important for u....
cos u dont wan i be ur wife...
never thinking wan married me...

u wan give ppl bring me go away from u ma???
u told me....
wat u wan i do u just will treat me good...
sayang me n care me until lik hell..
wat u wan i do just will treasure me..

I LOVE U SO MUCH tis word u never told me....
but...
i think u wont told me wan...

wat i wan do now???
i dont no...
i just noe im sad....
i just noe my heart very pain....
i just wan cry until i tired...
until i no more feeling....
maybe i will lost...

i lost edi u also wont worry me wan...
i noe de...
i reli noe de....

wat can i do now...
i just noe i damn moody...
today....
when reach home argue wit him again...
then just now get scold from my dad...
becos the "Queen"....
not my fault ok....
pls dont simply angry wit me....
not i make u angry....
y must wan scold me...

argue wit dear i already damn moody edi...
still wan get scold from my dad....

somemore feel not well....

i just feel i wan DIE....
i just feel i dont wan live edi...

relationship...
family...
future....

all is my problem...
when i just can settle it....

relationship...
i just wan happy wit him only...
just dont wan argue wit him only...
also cannot ma....
y u must make me wan angry u...
y must everytime wat i say then u "ding" me....
im tired de....
can u understand me ma???
can u dont treat me lik tat ma...
im ur lao po ar...
if u dint think im ur lao po nvm...
im ur gf ar...
not ur friend ar....

family....
always is my grandmom make problem....
when she make my dad angry...
my dad sure must scold me wan...
y...
everytime just me get scold...
if u wan scold me y still wan wit mom born me...
im ur children ar...
not ur DOG ar....

future....
until now still havent got working...
wan study but my dad say no $$....
wat can i do...
just faster go find work then save $$ to learn make-up....
i dont wan stay at home anymore...

pls...
can anyone help me???

he start to everyday play game again....
haiz....
dont have time accompany me...
sometimes dont no he sms wit who....
maybe is GIRLS???
i dont no...
just silent it...
dont wan keep ask him...
ltr he say me don trust him...
haiz...

argue????
yup...
just now we argue again...
he keng gai wit me in phone...
suddently say wan go play game...
when i hear it...
i damn moody edi...
chatting wit me really boring meh...
huh...
haix....
i really hate myself...
i dont no y....
i just noe me in his heart is a useless ppl....

i angry him close his phone....
then he dint call me bak again...
y...
y he will lik tat wan..
he really never think wan tam me bak ma????
never wan me forgive him ma???
im reali nt important for him ma???
my heart damn pain....
i can told who??
i just can keep in my heart....
no ppl noe wat i thinking...

ya...
i got think wan leave him...
cos i noe he not wan lik me tis type of gf...
i dont wan force him to love me.
i dont wan force him together wit me..
i wont sy break up wit him wan...
cos i will "bu she de " him..
my heart will damn pain...
will neve forget him....
i jus noe i reali cant leave him...
cos i love him so much...
he will noe ma???

if he loose me...
izit he will get a happy& freedom life ??
izit he will forget me??

if he loose me...
he will treasure me ma???
he will treat me better more than be4 ma??

i just wan noe....
he will married me ma???
he will wan me together forever wit him ma???

i got a lot question dint ask him....
be cos...
i noe he say the answer is i dont wan to hear it ...
i sure noe is a bad answer...
so i just keep in heart....

dear....
i just wan u noe...
im not very bad wan....
pls dont think i lik tat can ma???
pls dont say bad word wit me can ma??
pls dont treat me so rude can ma??
pls dont say "SPK" or say me "siao" can ma???
im ur gf ma??
izit all bf also say lik tat wit his gf??
u got see ur friend treat his gf lik tat ma??

im tired de...
im reali cant tahan de...
how also i will wait ....
i will wait u change it...
no matter how long...
i still will tahan....
i jus dont wan our relationship STOP IT....
i wan continue wit u...
jus wan happy be wit u only...

tis few days no tat happy mood...
damn moody...
haiz..
argue wit dear again...
pls la..
im tired de...
if still lik tat i think i will DIE....

until now still havent got work to do...
find some shop interview edi...
still waiting they call me....
but...
i think no chance de....
must wan go leisure mall find jor...
haiz....
i wan faster working...
dont wan stay at home...
at home damn boring la..
erm...
2moro go salon dye my hair 1st...
wuhoo....
but...
i dont have the happy mood...
T.T